The pain of your touch.. Selma Kopic

 

Sad notes on the radio woke up the images.
I felt a touch,
your arm lightly wrapped around my shoulder,
I felt its warmth, I swear,
and then, I remembered that
there were no more of those touches,
that there were no more such touches,
that there were no more touches at all.
God, how you looked at me,
as if there were no other women,
as if there were no other living beings
in the whole world,
no one but us.
And there was pain,
physical pain in my stomach,
and tears,
tears in a stream pouring down my cheeks.
I can't describe that pain,
that awareness that everything is past,
that everything is gone forever.
I know I would have been more unhappy
if I hadn’t felt such and so much love.
But, this much pain makes me doubt
destiny, justice, oblivion, and fair order in the world.
I’m the happiest woman of all
because I met you,
because you loved me,
and I keep the memories as the greatest treasures.
But, sometimes I want to erase you,
because this pain.
The pain of your touch that I no longer have,
is so hard to bear.

Bol tvog dodira

Sjetne note na radiju probudiše slike.
Osjetih dodir,
tvoja ruka lagano prebačena oko moga ramena.
Osjetih mu toplinu, kunem se,
i onda se sjetih
da nema više tih dodira,
da nema više takvih dodira,
da nema više dodira uopšte.
Bože, kako si me gledao,
kao da na svijetu nema drugih žena,
kao da na cijelom svijetu nema drugih živih bića,
nikog osim nas.
I javi se bol,
fizička bol u stomaku,
i suze,
suze u mlazu potekoše niz obraze.
Ne mogu opisati tu bol,
tu svijest da sve je prošlost,
da sve je zauvijek nestalo.
Znam da bih bila nesretnija
da nisam osjetila takvu i toliku ljubav.
Ali, ovakva bol tjera me da sumnjam
i u sudbinu, i u pravdu,
i u zaborav, i u pošten poredak na svijetu.
Ja sam najsretnija žena od svih
jer sam te upoznala,
jer si me volio,
i čuvam uspomene kao najveće dragocjenosti.
Ali, ponekad poželim da te izbrišem
jer ovu bol, bol tvog dodira kojeg više nemam,
tako je teško podnijeti.